📚 Short Stories From The Immortal Quill – Issue #33
New Day, New Drama
Location: Inkbound Lounge, beneath the twinkling chandelier of Eternal Procrastination
Who’s “Actually” Working Around Here?
The coffee pot had brewed its last ounce of dignity, and the pastries were suspiciously missing - probably Red again. Everyone was lounging in their usual not-working-but-definitely-here fashion, when the bell rang for the daily storytelling slot.
Tink, already reclining with another latte (obviously), looked up and said, “Alright, sugarplums. Whose turn is it today?”
Cinderella flicked through her planner. “Well, Dorothy did a windstorm monologue, and Tink glitter-raged us through a whole fae tragedy again…”
Snow shrugged. “I could tell a story, but honestly, I need a nap.”
“Same,” muttered Red, halfway into a donut.
“Okay so ideas, people!” Tink clapped her hands. “Let’s pick someone who hasn’t been working lately.”
Everyone’s eyes slowly slid toward Rapunzel.
She blinked. “What?”
“You’ve literally been weaving hair braids into the furniture,” Goldi said, pointing at the curtain that was now... vaguely sentient.
“Yeah, are you even on the payroll anymore?” said Red, arching a brow.
“I thought she was an intern,” Snow whispered.
“I thought she was our emotional support princess,” Dorothy chimed in with a grin.
“Well I thought I was a co-founder of the lounge aesthetic!” Rapunzel snapped back.
“Exactly,” Tink said sweetly. “So go ahead and aesthetically tell us a story, sunshine.”
Rapunzel groaned dramatically, but grabbed a pillow, perched in the center, and with an over-the-top hair flip, began her tale.
Rapunzel’s Retelling: “Hansel & Gretel: Breadcrumbs and Bad Decisions”
(Told with scandal, sass, and a faint scent of cinnamon)“Once upon a time - because all bad ideas start with that - there were two siblings named Hansel and Gretel. Now, before you get all sweet and sentimental, let me just say: these kids were feral.
They lived with their dad and a wicked stepmother who honestly had zero chill and even less pantry space. She decided that the solution to their food shortage wasn’t gardening, or budgeting - oh no - it was abandoning the children in the woods. As one does.
So off the kids went. But Hansel, being slightly less chaotic than the average raccoon, dropped a trail of breadcrumbs. Strategic, right?
Wrong.
Birds.
Feral woodland freeloaders.
They ate the crumbs like it was brunch.
Lost and hungry, Hansel and Gretel stumbled upon a house made of gingerbread. Now here’s where the poor life choices really start to compound. Did they knock? No. Did they call for help? Nope.
They started EATING THE WALLS.
Enter: The Witch.
Now, this woman - clearly an interior design icon with a taste for whimsy and vengeance - decides to fatten up Hansel and keep Gretel as her personal kitchen assistant.
But Gretel?
Not having it.
She played sweet, waited for the right moment, and pushed the witch straight into her own oven. Like a glitter-bombed mic drop.
Kids snatched the witch’s loot, escaped, and somehow made it home again where the wicked stepmother was “mysteriously gone” (honestly, maybe Gretel was on a spree), and they lived happily ever after...
The crew just stared.
Snow blinked. “That was… actually disturbing.”
Goldi snorted. “I loved it.”
Tink clapped slowly. “You’re still not getting out of lounge cleanup duty.”
Red grinned. “Gretel sounds like my kind of girl.”
Cinderella muttered, “I mean, breaking and entering, arson, theft… honestly, I admire the hustle.”
Dorothy nodded. “Y’all gonna act like you wouldn’t eat a gumdrop doorknob if you were starving?”
Rapunzel shrugged. “Hey, morals are flexible when you're abandoned in the woods.”
Tink jotted a note: “Next week—Princess Ethics Debate???”
And as the crew filed out for the day, Cinderella whispered to Red, “So who’s gonna tell her she braided a squirrel into the curtains?”
Red grinned. “Not it.”
🔥 🖋 📚
The Immortal Quill Short Stories
🩸✨ A Bloodthorn Publishing™ Original
From the twistedly magical minds of the Immortal Quill™ Storytellers, welcome to the World of 4EverMore™ - where fractured fairytales wear combat boots, myths misbehave, tea spills itself, and chaos is couture. ☕️
Featuring your immortally iconic favorites:
• Goldilocks (paranoid and perfect)
• CindaSpy™ (that’s Cinderella with a security clearance)
• Red (badass in boots)
• Snow (soft goth apple queen)
• Dorothy (click it and rip it)
• Beauty (rose-stem sharp)
• Wendy (shadow-slick rebel)
• Alice – Queen of Ink & Lore™ herself
• Loki (divine trickster snack, taken 😘)
• Ivy (Rumple’s sister, lethal in Louboutins)
• and Rumplestiltskin (unhinged, unmatched, unstoppable)
✨ Guest appearances may include sentient teacups, tragic ballgowns, questionable prophecy scrolls, and one flirty, possibly dangerous Elven stranger...
🪄 Storytime just got a whole lot more immortal.
Bloodthorn Publishing™ • The Immortal Quill™ • World of 4EverMore™ Universe 💋🔥
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