📚 Short Stories From The Immortal Quill – Issue #61
Goldi, Gravity, and the Great Flat Earth Debacle
The sun rose suspiciously round over The Immortal Quill - or so most of the crew assumed. But as they gathered for another brainstorming session over morning brews and barely cooled caramels, Goldi had other plans. Wild ones.
“I’m just saying,” Goldi began, feet kicked up on the arm of a tufted velvet chair, arms crossed with the swagger of someone about to drop an absolute truth grenade, “you’ve never actually seen the Earth curve. Not with your own eyes. Coincidence? I think not.”
A record scratch might as well have echoed through the room.
Red, mid-sip of her usual Rage & Cinnamon brew, choked. “Oh no. Oh noooo. Don’t start. Not again. We’ve barely recovered from your ‘Birds Are Government Drones’ theory last week.”
Goldi leaned forward, eyes wild and sparkling. “OK but explain to me why airplanes fly in straight lines if the Earth is a globe. Why don’t they go upside down? Huh? Answer me that, RED.”
Tink set her mug down carefully and narrowed her eyes. “Because gravity, Goldi. You know, that tiny, insignificant force holding everything in place - including your conspiracy-packed brain?”
Goldi waved a dismissive hand. “Gravity is a lie created by the Globers to keep us all spinning in submission!”
Dorothy blinked slowly. “Goldi. Babe. Literally what.”
Rapunzel giggled from behind her braid, where she was sketching out a storyboard for an upcoming tale titled “The Princess and the Paranormal Pancake.” “I vote we just put her in a space shuttle and call it a day.”
“You mean a fake space shuttle,” Goldi corrected, jabbing a finger toward her like a medieval lawyer. “Made by NASA. The same NASA that’s been lying to us for decades.”
Cindi, radiant as always in a cloud-soft sweater and sipping her Slasherbucks macchiato, casually flipped a page in her planner. “Oh stars, here we go.”
Goldi’s eyes narrowed. “You know, Cinda... I’ve always found you a little too polished. Always showing up late. Always with your fancy coffee and mysteriously perfect hair. Ever think... maybe that’s because you’re still a spy?”
The room froze.
“Excuse me?” Cindi raised one arched brow, amusement curling at her lips.
“I’m onto you, Cindaspy,” Goldi hissed dramatically, pointing like she was casting a glitter-powered curse. “Maybe you don’t work for The Immortal Quill. Maybe you work for THEM. The secret NASA moon coven and your a plant.”
Dorothy burst out laughing so hard she nearly fell off her chair. “A moon coven?! Goldi, you need sleep. Like now.”
Cindi crossed her legs with queenly poise, brushing invisible dust off her knee. “Darling, if I worked for NASA, I wouldn’t be stuck listening to you mispronounce ‘stratosphere’ like it’s a spell ingredient.”
“That’s S-P-A-L-L-I-N-G!” Goldi declared with extra flair. “It’s all connected! Round Earth propaganda, NASA spies, and don’t even get me started on Antarctica! Why is it off-limits to civilians, hmm? Because it’s the ICE WALL holding us on this flat prison pancake!”
Red blinked. “Did you just say flat prison pancake?”
Rumplestiltskin appeared then, as if summoned by the sheer chaos in the air, sipping from his usual suspiciously perfect Slasherbucks brew. “Oooh, conspiracy morning, my favorite! Did someone say pancakes?”
“Not the syrup kind, Rumple,” Tink groaned.
“Oh, I know. I brought real pancakes though.” He held up a tray with an impish grin. “Laced with truth syrup. Should clear this all up in a jiffy.”
Goldi narrowed her eyes. “I’m not eating anything from a man who owns Slasherbucks and definitely traffics in secrets.”
“I don’t own Slasherbucks,” Rumple said far too quickly.
Everyone stared at him.
He cleared his throat. “Anyway. Carry on.”
Goldi continued her soapbox speech, now armed with maps she’d scribbled on napkins and diagrams that looked suspiciously like someone had let a squirrel use a compass.
Rapunzel was recording the whole thing. “This is absolutely going in the next Taffy & Tales promo reel.”
Dorothy leaned over to Cindi and whispered, “If she says the moon is a hologram, I’m staging an intervention.”
“She already texted me that last night,” Cindi muttered back. “I thought it was a dream. I really hoped it was a dream.”
Tink, suddenly inspired, held up her own glittery sketchbook. “Wait. Wait. What if we made a flat Earth-themed candy? Like... a giant taffy disk labeled ‘Forbidden Geography’?”
Goldi lit up like a sugar bomb. “YES. And we sell it only at the poles!”
Dorothy shook her head, but her smile gave her away. “Well, if the Earth’s flat, we’re clearly on the weirdest edge of it.”
And from that chaotic swirl of sugar, sass, and secret NASA spies, a new spark for a story (or a candy?) was born.
Because in this Universe, even gravity isn’t safe from brainstorming.
🔥 🖋 📚
The Immortal Quill Short Stories
🩸✨ A Bloodthorn Publishing™ Original
From the twistedly magical minds of the Immortal Quill™ Storytellers, welcome to the World of 4EverMore™ - where fractured fairytales wear combat boots, myths misbehave, tea spills itself, and chaos is couture. ☕️
Featuring your immortally iconic favorites:
• Goldilocks (paranoid and perfect)
• CindaSpy™ (that’s Cinderella with a security clearance)
• Red (badass in boots)
• Snow (soft goth apple queen)
• Dorothy (click it and rip it)
• Beauty (rose-stem sharp)
• Wendy (shadow-slick rebel)
• Alice – Queen of Ink & Lore™ herself
• Loki (divine trickster snack, taken 😘)
• Ivy (Rumple’s sister, lethal in Louboutins)
• and Rumplestiltskin (unhinged, unmatched, unstoppable)
✨ Guest appearances may include sentient teacups, tragic ballgowns, questionable prophecy scrolls, and one flirty, possibly dangerous Elven stranger...
🪄 Storytime just got a whole lot more immortal.
Bloodthorn Publishing™ • The Immortal Quill™ • World of 4EverMore™ Universe 💋🔥
.jpg)
.jpg)
