📚 Short Stories From The Immortal Quill – Issue #49
Strap in and grab your garlic bread - because Goldi is on one today and it smells like seafood, sass, and straight-up chaos in the halls of the Immortal Quill!
“Goldi’s Galactic Gourmet: The Day She Ate Nemo (Allegedly)”
It all began with a smell.
Not a sweet smell. Not a magical smell.
No, this was a WHAT IN THE UNDERREALMS IS THAT kind of smell.
The scent slithered through the enchanted vents, crept into the spell-ink archives, and violently slapped every nose from the break room to the Hall of Whispers.
Snow White was the first to gag.
Rapunzel threw a braid over her face like a gas mask.
Red stormed in holding a scented candle and yelling,
“WHO UNLEASHED FISHY DEATH IN THIS SACRED PLACE?!”
And then -
Goldi.
Waltzing in like she owned the entire dang kitchen of Mount Olympus, holding a MASSIVE aluminum tray with steam pouring out like it was cursed by Poseidon himself.
With a dramatic FLING of the cardboard lid, she revealed her “Lunch of Justice” (her words, not ours):
Pasta tangled with mussels, calamari rings, tentacles, and possibly some fishy friend that looked a little too familiar.
Everyone recoiled in horror.
Tink: “WHAT IN THE ATLANTEAN NIGHTMARE IS THAT?!”
Wendy: “I swear on Neverland, if that’s Dory -”
Cinderella (backing away): “I can’t! Not the fish with the memory issues!”
Red (with a fork): “Is that NEMO?! You monster!”
Goldi screamed.
“No! STOP IT! This is gourmet Italiana quizine!, Then she kissed her fingers ever so dramatically. Respect the calamari! YOU PEOPLE ARE BARBARIANS!” "Besides That Dory fish And Nemo aren't even REAL" She screamed. "They were fake fish imposter's - actors, just a Disney Movie! Oh, For the love of all the gods, get it together ladies!" As she shook her head and rolled her eyes.
Loki, sipping his tea in the corner: “Honestly, I find this chaos delicious.”
Goldi, turning her tray like it’s sacred armor:
“You don’t understand. I watched this documentary-slash-sci-fi show last night - tentacle aliens. GIANT squishy octopus-like things. Big wet eyes. Way too many limbs. They STRANGLE YOU with their squish. I had a dream one wrapped around my head like a live shower cap!”
She made the universal “death by tentacle” gesture - pointer finger across her neck, tongue out, eyes crossed. Full performance.
“So I decided - I’m turning over a new leaf. No more victim energy. If the aliens wanna play squishy wars, I’m gonna eat ‘em first. Tentacles, eyeballs, the works. Let the mortals keep screaming - I’m dining on destiny!”
Ivy (Rumple’s chaotic sister, popping in uninvited):
“Honestly? That’s the most unhinged battle cry I’ve ever heard and I love it.”
Tink mutters under her breath: “I’m reporting this to the culinary council.”
Rumplestiltskin saunters by, lifts the lid, sniffs, and says, “Five gold coins she doesn’t make it to dessert before summoning something from the deep.”
And with that, Goldi sat triumphantly at the story table, slurping pasta, flicking tentacles like victory streamers, daring fate - and aliens - to try her.
Moral of the story?
When in doubt… don’t ask what Goldi’s eating. Just bless it and back away slowly.
🔥 🖋 📚
The Immortal Quill Short Stories
🩸✨ A Bloodthorn Publishing™ Original
From the twistedly magical minds of the Immortal Quill™ Storytellers, welcome to the World of 4EverMore™ - where fractured fairytales wear combat boots, myths misbehave, tea spills itself, and chaos is couture. ☕️
Featuring your immortally iconic favorites:
• Goldilocks (paranoid and perfect)
• CindaSpy™ (that’s Cinderella with a security clearance)
• Red (badass in boots)
• Snow (soft goth apple queen)
• Dorothy (click it and rip it)
• Beauty (rose-stem sharp)
• Wendy (shadow-slick rebel)
• Alice – Queen of Ink & Lore™ herself
• Loki (divine trickster snack, taken 😘)
• Ivy (Rumple’s sister, lethal in Louboutins)
• and Rumplestiltskin (unhinged, unmatched, unstoppable)
✨ Guest appearances may include sentient teacups, tragic ballgowns, questionable prophecy scrolls, and one flirty, possibly dangerous Elven stranger...
🪄 Storytime just got a whole lot more immortal.
Bloodthorn Publishing™ • The Immortal Quill™ • World of 4EverMore™ Universe 💋🔥
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