📚 Short Stories From The Immortal Quill – Issue #53
BREAKING NEWS FROM THE BREAK ROOM:
“SLAUGHTER, SPILLS & SALTED CARAMEL - THE SLA$HERBUCK$ SCANDAL”
It started as a perfectly serious morning at the aimmortal Quill Studio. Papers were stacked, spells were prepped, and the team had finally agreed not to throw glitter until after lunch.
Then came the scent.
Sweet. Salty. Caramel-y. Sinister.
And it drifted in like a murderous lullaby wrapped in whipped cream.
Cue Cinderella. Casual. Composed. Catastrophic.
Strutting in twenty minutes late like the villain of a fashion film, she had one hand on her hip and the other clutching a steaming, gorgeous macchiato - smelling like autumn seduced a candy factory and left behind regrets and caffeine.
Cindi (blissfully): “Morningggg. Salted Caramel Macchiato Massacre also known as Heaven in a haunted cup.”
Everyone else (instantly feral): “IS THAT A SPONSORSHIP!?!?”
BOOM.
Accusations erupted like cursed popcorn.
Goldi: “Who got to you?! Who paid you?! WHAT’S IN THE CARAMEL?”
Snow (sniffing the air like a bloodhound): “That’s SLA$HERBUCK$."
" I know that scent. That’s the espresso of dark deeds.”
Tink (sputtering with rage): “We’re supposed to be indie! This is a local legend space! You’re selling out to a cursed café franchise?!” "Hey, Where did Dorothy and Rapunzel go?" Pointing at empty chairs.
Cindi (sipping coolly): “Relax. It’s not a sponsorship. It’s just DELICIOUS. It's not cursed it's just branding with mystery besides they are Indie too! Anyway, it’s my new favorite drink. So. Expect this scent. Daily. Love you.”
Tink side-eye Snow, then stared at Cindi. "Love You", she repeated almost whispering it. "Did a Sneaky Barista spike your coffee or what Spybella?!" She went on, "Because the last time I checked you..."
WHOOSH
Enter chaos portal.
Rapunzel and Dorothy reappear out of nowhere, each clutching their own suspiciously fresh, steaming SLA$HERBUCK$
cups.
Rapunzel: “Triple toasted marshmallow latte. Extra cream. Triple whipped. With a vengeance.”
Dorothy: “Hexed Apple Pie Brew with cinnamon-dusted cloud foam and a blessed shot of maple misery.”
Silence.
Goldi (slowly): “...You left. You vanished. TO GET COFFEE?!”
Dorothy (grinning): “Teleportation spell. We got a punch card now too.”
Red: “Y’all are going to be addicted.”
Cindi (smirking): “And yet… no one’s complaining now that the aroma is everywhere.”
Tink opens a window. Snow closes it. Rapunzel sprinkles cinnamon in a circle for protection. Dorothy adds a cookie to the ward.
Meanwhile, Rumplestiltskin, watching through a cursed mirror somewhere, mutters:
“If SLA$HERBUCK$ doesn’t sponsor them soon, I might.”
Suddenly The door to The Immortal Quill flew open with an enchanted gust that sent parchment flying and candles flickering. In strode Rumplestiltskin, part shadow, part silk, part smug barista.
He held four steaming drinks in one hand like an offering to the coffee gods - or a hexed bribe from a chaos deity.
“I heard there was drama,” he said with a wolfish grin. “So naturally, I came with refreshments.”
They all stared.
Without waiting, he placed the first drink into Red’s waiting hands. “Double-shot Blood Orange Mocha Madness,” he purred. “Cinnamon and rage, just like your heart.”
Red sniffed it, took a sip, and promptly declared it divine.
The next cup he handed off with a flourish to Tinkerbella, who looked at it like it had insulted her boots.
“Fae Dust Cold Foam Blitz,” he said, “with a swirl of stardust and peppermint deception.”
Tink took a very dramatic sip - then froze.
“This is... this is good,” she muttered like it was a betrayal of her personal brand. “I hate that I love this.”
Rumple grinned wider. “That’s the general response to me, darling.”
Someone in the background - perhaps Snow, ever the tactful one - tilted her head and asked, “Wait. You’ve got four. Who are the others for?”
Rumple turned, lifting the remaining two cups like treasures.
“One is for Alice,” he said casually, though his eyes glinted with mischief. “I’m stopping by her tower after this. She’s been holed up writing stories and forgetting to eat, as usual.”
The final cup he regarded for a moment, then added, “And this last one is for Loki. He’s allegedly at her Rosehaven studio, ‘working on stories’- which, of course, is ancient trickster code for sitting around in her sunroom eating all the pastries and looking poetic while seducing her.”
He gave them all a sideways look, sipped his own dark brew, and added with a sinister sort of sweetness, “And no - I didn’t spike or curse any of these… although I did think about cursing Loki’s.”
He paused for effect, then smiled like a man who’d signed a few unholy contracts in his time.
“But really, him falling in love with Alice is enough torture for any man - even if he is an ancient mythological Norse god.”
There was a moment of stunned silence.
Then Tink choked on her drink, Red nearly spat hers across the room, and Goldi dramatically declared, “TEA. SPILLED.”
Even Rapunzel dropped her marshmallow whipped topping in shock.
Rumple, smug and satisfied, simply turned toward the door.
“Well,” he said over his shoulder. “Enjoy the day. And the chaos.”
Then he vanished into a swirl of smoke and roasted espresso mist, leaving the crew reeling, caffeinated, and just the right amount of unhinged.
It was going to be a deliciously dramatic day.
After Rumple’s exit, the office of The Immortal Quill simmered with whispers, side-eyes, and the sweet scent of betrayal-roasted espresso.
Red leaned against her desk, sipping the last of her Blood Orange Mocha Madness. “Okay but seriously,” she said, squinting at her cup. “How did he know my order?”
Tink didn’t answer. She was still side-eyeing her now half-empty cup with existential fury. “This is suspicious. Suspiciously perfect.”
Snow, never one to let a mystery go unsolved, tiptoed to the counter where Rumple had placed the takeout tray. “Look,” she whispered, pointing. “The receipt. There’s a note.”
The entire crew crowded in like kids around a campfire.
“Enjoy the brew. And the chaos. -R.
P.S. I know because I own the place. SLA$HERBUCK$: Roasted by Rumple™.”
Gasps.
Literal gasps.
Goldi screamed and dropped her cup. “HE OWNS SLA$HERBUCK$?!”
Rapunzel spun in her chair like she’d just won the drama lottery. “This means we’ve all been funding his mischief! He’s been caffeinating us into compliance!”
Tink looked horrified. “I’ve been endorsing his brand with my taste buds.”
Even Dorothy, ever the practical one, looked a little shook. “So… is this all some caffeine-fueled plot to take over the storyverse?”
Red gave a slow, dramatic nod. “I mean… would it not be the most Rumple thing ever?”
Somewhere in the distance, a crow cawed. A storm cloud rolled. A dramatic violin chord may or may not have struck.
Tink threw her hands up. “Okay, I’m going to need ten minutes to process the fact that I like the drink, and I might have just declared allegiance to his twisted espresso empire!”
Goldi pulled out her phone. “Hey, Tinkerbelinda, We’re going to need t-shirts. ‘Fueled by SLA$HERBUCK$. Betrayed by Rumple.’”
Tink yelled, "I'm on it Goldibella, like avocado on toast!"
At that exact moment, a shadow appeared in the window.
Rumple.
Grinning.
Holding up a new limited- edition SLA$HERBUCK$ tumbler - black with crimson script that read:
"Chaos Brewed Daily.™"
He tipped it at them, winked, and disappeared in a cloud of caffeinated mist, leaving behind only stunned silence and the soft sound of Red whispering,
“…This is how cults start, isn’t it?”
SLA$HERBUCK$.
Home of the Hexed Hazelnut, the Macchiato of Mayhem, and the barista who may or may not be a necromancer.
Assassins love it. Writers require it. Sorcerers swear by it.
And now? So do the Chaos Crew.
Tomorrow’s story may involve dragons or curses or heartbreak...
But today?
Today smells like betrayal, espresso, and capitalism with extra foam.
🔥 🖋 📚
The Immortal Quill Short Stories
🩸✨ A Bloodthorn Publishing™ Original
From the twistedly magical minds of the Immortal Quill™ Storytellers, welcome to the World of 4EverMore™ - where fractured fairytales wear combat boots, myths misbehave, tea spills itself, and chaos is couture. ☕️
Featuring your immortally iconic favorites:
• Goldilocks (paranoid and perfect)
• CindaSpy™ (that’s Cinderella with a security clearance)
• Red (badass in boots)
• Snow (soft goth apple queen)
• Dorothy (click it and rip it)
• Beauty (rose-stem sharp)
• Wendy (shadow-slick rebel)
• Alice – Queen of Ink & Lore™ herself
• Loki (divine trickster snack, taken 😘)
• Ivy (Rumple’s sister, lethal in Louboutins)
• and Rumplestiltskin (unhinged, unmatched, unstoppable)
✨ Guest appearances may include sentient teacups, tragic ballgowns, questionable prophecy scrolls, and one flirty, possibly dangerous Elven stranger...
🪄 Storytime just got a whole lot more immortal.
Bloodthorn Publishing™ • The Immortal Quill™ • World of 4EverMore™ Universe 💋🔥
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