📚 Short Stories From The Immortal Quill – Issue #50
“Goldi Was Right: The Seafood Prophecy”
It was a sluggish day at The Quill. No stories. No scripts. No coffee strong enough to revive the drama.
Red was playing “Who Can Roll Their Eyes the Hardest” with Tink.
Alice was sipping aggressively from her tea of judgment.
Rumple was looming in corners like some cursed cat ready to swipe.
Then... he arrived.
With a swish of leather and mischief practically dripping from his auburn wavy hair, Loki sauntered in, smirk set to maximum chaos mode.
“Darlings, - I brought a guest.”
The room froze. You could hear the magical tension snap like uncooked spaghetti.
In walked Poseidon.
Yes. The Poseidon. The Mythical Legend himself.
Bearded. Barefoot. No wait... he was wearing sandals and socks! Radiating saltwater trauma and ocean daddy energy.
Either he was the ancient sea god reincarnated, or the most committed method actor this side of Atlantis. Either way - terrifying.
Loki bowed low.
“Thought the place could use some oceanic flair. Especially after Goldi’s recent dining decisions.”
You could hear Goldi's eyes squinting.
Poseidon boomed, “I’ve come to tell a tale.”
And what a tale it was.
Tentacled beasts. Eyes the size of sunken ships.
Minds that whispered into the dreams of sailors, dragging them down into the ink-black abyss.
They were here, he warned. In the sea. Beneath the tides.
Waiting. Watching. Wrapping.
“They don’t kill you with teeth,” he said with thunder in his voice.
“They squeeze the soul from your bones… until you're nothing but bubbles.”
The crew peeked sideways at Goldi.
She was scribbling furiously. Smoke nearly rising from her glitter pen.
Suddenly she stood, eyes blazing with righteous seafood-fueled vindication.
“SEE?!” she shrieked.
“SEE?! I TOLD YOU! YOU MOCKED ME! BUT WHO WAS RIGHT?! WHO WAS RIGHT?!”
She held up her paper like it was a divine scroll, dramatically declaring:
“GOLDI WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!”
And with the flair of a Broadway diva and the energy of a girl who's had one too many espresso shots, she threw the paper in the middle of the room, letting it float down like prophecy ash.
The crew was stunned.
“Where are you going?!” someone called.
Goldi didn’t even break stride.
“To the nearest Italian restaurant for a seafood boil, wanna come? I’m gonna eat them before they get us.”
Rapunzel, clutching her hair and giggling:
“Ooooh! I love seafood boils!”
Tink gagged.
“Is this really happening?!”
Rumple deadpanned: “Honestly, I’d watch them eat squid for three hours over someone telling another rehashed vampire love triangle.”
Loki grinned, leaning back against the door.
“Should we tell her Poseidon made all that up just to mess with her?”
Alice (muttering into her tea):
“No. Let her have this. She’s a queen now.”
From somewhere behind a scroll rack:
“OH MY GODS - ARE THEY GONNA START DOING THOSE SEAFOOD BOIL MUKBANGS ON YOUTUBE?!”
"The Mukbang of Madness"
And sure enough...
DING.
Loki’s phone buzzed with a message.
He glanced down, eyebrow already arched in suspicion.
Goldi:
“Told you I was serious. Enjoy the seafood revenge. #TheyGetBoiledBeforeWeDo #AliensBeware #MusselsAndMayhem”
Attached?
A YouTube link.
And a TikTok.
Loki cackled as he clicked the video.
Cue the overly dramatic mukbang intro music.
Smash cut to:
Goldi, sitting at a table the size of a baby dragon, decked out in a bib that said “In Your Faces” in glittery red lettering.
Rapunzel is beside her, equally enthusiastic, wielding a tiny pink hammer meant for cracking crab legs but using it like Thor’s hammer of justice.
Before them?
A SEAFOOD BOIL MONSTROSITY.
- Mountains of shrimp glistening in garlic butter.
- Mussels steaming like a cauldron’s curse.
- Corn on the cob rolling around like enchanted relics.
- Baby potatoes bouncing across the plate like goblin marbles.
- And lobster tails so big they could be used as sleds in the Alps.
- Drenched - absolutely smothered - in spicy buttery sauce and liquid vengeance.
Goldi (into the camera):
“Today’s episode: Alien Apocalypse Prevention, One Tentacle at a Time.”
SLUUUURP.
SMACK.
SPLAT.
The camera picks up every gloriously exaggerated sound.
The slurping.
The snap of crab legs.
The drizzle of melted butter poured in slow motion.
The obscene lip smacks.
The spaghetti-like swirl of calamari tentacles.
Goldi:
“Mmmm. That’s one less alien squid to wrap its tentacles around ME.”
Rapunzel (through a mouthful of shrimp):
“I’m saving humanity, one mussel at a time.”
Wearing a brand new tshirt that said,"Goldi Was Right!"
Back at the Immortal Quill, everyone’s gathered around Loki’s phone watching, equal parts horrified and howling with laughter.
Tink (visibly green):
“That’s so gross. So gross.”
Alice (deadpan):
“No manners. None. Just chaos and cocktail sauce.”
Rumple:
“I dunno, I respect it. It’s the boldness for me.”
Red:
“I want the bib.”
Dorothy:
“I want the sauce recipe.”
Loki, wiping a tear of laughter:
“We created a monster. A beautiful, seafood-slurping monster.”
And thus, the legend of Goldi’s Seafood Revenge Channel was born aka Alien Apocalypse Prevention
Coming soon to an algorithm near you:
“Like a Squid Game, But Make It Edible”
“Tentacles & Triumph: The Mukbang Prophecies”
“Goldi’s Boil Before the Spoil!”
Coming soon to a magical feed near you:
Goldi & Rapunzel’s “Boil Before the Spoil” – new episodes every Thursday, where seafood meets sass and no tentacle is safe.
They have now entered:
THE SEAFOOD SLAY ERA.
Serving salt. Serving slurp. Serving side-eye with a splash of hot butter.
I hear it already:
“They thought I was crazy - now I’m crispy.”
“Aliens got eight legs? I got hot sauce.”
#CrabClawRevenge #EatTheInvaders #SeafoodSlayQueen
🔥 🖋 📚
The Immortal Quill Short Stories
🩸✨ A Bloodthorn Publishing™ Original
From the twistedly magical minds of the Immortal Quill™ Storytellers, welcome to the World of 4EverMore™ - where fractured fairytales wear combat boots, myths misbehave, tea spills itself, and chaos is couture. ☕️
Featuring your immortally iconic favorites:
• Goldilocks (paranoid and perfect)
• CindaSpy™ (that’s Cinderella with a security clearance)
• Red (badass in boots)
• Snow (soft goth apple queen)
• Dorothy (click it and rip it)
• Beauty (rose-stem sharp)
• Wendy (shadow-slick rebel)
• Alice – Queen of Ink & Lore™ herself
• Loki (divine trickster snack, taken 😘)
• Ivy (Rumple’s sister, lethal in Louboutins)
• and Rumplestiltskin (unhinged, unmatched, unstoppable)
✨ Guest appearances may include sentient teacups, tragic ballgowns, questionable prophecy scrolls, and one flirty, possibly dangerous Elven stranger...
🪄 Storytime just got a whole lot more immortal.
Bloodthorn Publishing™ • The Immortal Quill™ • World of 4EverMore™ Universe 💋🔥
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