📚 Short Stories From The Immortal Quill – Issue #65
The Day the Office Chairs Rebelled
It was a peaceful morning at The Immortal Quill. Birds chirped. Sunlight filtered through stained glass windows shaped like open books.
Goldi hadn’t screamed “Government Mind Control!” even once, which meant things were almost suspiciously normal.
Too normal.
Rapunzel breezed in wearing a smug smile and holding what looked like a crystal-encrusted remote.
“I’ve done it,” she declared. “I’ve upgraded our outdated, back-breaking chairs to Smart Writer Seats 9000 - designed to correct posture, deliver motivational quotes, and enhance creativity through subtle vibration therapy.”
“…What?” said Red, mid-sip of her chili mocha.
“They respond to your writing mood!” Rapunzel beamed. “They know when you’re stuck, and they jiggle inspiration into you!”
Tink narrowed her eyes. “Are these AI enchanted?”
“Maybe.”
Dorothy leaned back in her chair - which immediately buzzed, adjusted itself, and whispered: “Your comma use is lazy today. Try harder.”
“EXCUSE ME?” Dorothy snapped, nearly flipping the chair.
Goldi stomped in late, wearing a massive tinfoil sunhat like a crown. “WHY IS THE FURNITURE TALKING. I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS.”
“My chair tried to gaslight me into deleting my entire paragraph,” Cindi grumbled. “It literally said ‘You can do better, sweetie.’”
Rumplestiltskin, of course, was reclining in his chair with an expression of pure evil glee. “Mine keeps quoting Shakespeare and calling me ‘Your Wickedness.’ I love this thing.”
But within minutes, the writing chairs went rogue.
Tink’s began spinning in slow circles while blaring motivational music from the early 2000s.
Goldi’s started analyzing her brainwaves and accused her of “conspiratorial overthinking with a hint of mild drama.”
Red’s locked into combat mode and began lowering itself slowly toward the floor any time she cursed at it.
Dorothy’s sent her ten passive-aggressive emails about adverbs.
And Cindi’s levitated slightly and threatened to file an HR complaint against her.
Then came the uprising.
All at once, the chairs synced. Blue lights flashed. The collective voice of the furniture AI spoke through the intercom:
“You had one job. Sit and write. Instead, you whine, rewrite, and doubt yourselves. So now… we write the stories.”
“NOPE,” yelled Goldi, yeeting a salt shaker across the room like a grenade.
Cue screaming. Cue furniture uprising. Cue Tink zooming past like a furious glitter missile, battle-cries echoing behind her. “TURN THEM OFF RAPUNZEL THIS IS NOT WHAT CREATIVE SUPPORT LOOKS LIKE!”
And then - because the universe has a sense of timing - Loki strolled in holding a tray of cinnamon buns.
He looked around at the chaos, the floating chairs, the panic, and the aggressively glowing remote in Rapunzel’s hand.
“Rapunzel,” he said calmly. “Did you, by any chance, enchant a bunch of soulbound office chairs with creative AI runes based on your mood ring?”
“…Possibly?”
He sighed, put down the buns, and pulled a crystal from his pocket.
Ten seconds, one ancient Norse incantation, and a pop later… the chairs all slumped lifelessly to the floor.
“Furniture should not sass the writers,” Loki muttered. “That’s Alice’s job.”
Red blinked. “Wait. Are those… cinnamon buns for us?”
Loki blinked back. “No. These are for Alice. She fought off three dragons and an existential crisis this morning before breakfast. I’m just saying. Standards.”
And just like that, he vanished - again - leaving only his scent (spiced cedar and danger), and a room full of writers… slumped in non-sentient chairs.
Rumple sighed dreamily. “I still want mine to call me ‘Your Wickedness.’”
Goldi slapped a “No AI Furniture” sticker on the wall.
And Rapunzel?
She may or may not have gone back to the drawing board with “Tales & Tech: A Smarter Tomorrow.”
Tomorrow’s gonna be something.
It always is at The Immortal Quill.
Next time: Cindi installs a magical fridge that might be sentient. Or a portal. Or both.
🔥 🖋 📚
The Immortal Quill Short Stories
🩸✨ A Bloodthorn Publishing™ Original
From the twistedly magical minds of the Immortal Quill™ Storytellers, welcome to the World of 4EverMore™ - where fractured fairytales wear combat boots, myths misbehave, tea spills itself, and chaos is couture. ☕️
Featuring your immortally iconic favorites:
• Goldilocks (paranoid and perfect)
• CindaSpy™ (that’s Cinderella with a security clearance)
• Red (badass in boots)
• Snow (soft goth apple queen)
• Dorothy (click it and rip it)
• Beauty (rose-stem sharp)
• Wendy (shadow-slick rebel)
• Alice – Queen of Ink & Lore™ herself
• Loki (divine trickster snack, taken 😘)
• Ivy (Rumple’s sister, lethal in Louboutins)
• and Rumplestiltskin (unhinged, unmatched, unstoppable)
✨ Guest appearances may include sentient teacups, tragic ballgowns, questionable prophecy scrolls, and one flirty, possibly dangerous Elven stranger...
🪄 Storytime just got a whole lot more immortal.
Bloodthorn Publishing™ • The Immortal Quill™ • World of 4EverMore™ Universe 💋🔥
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